5:12 PM 
i did some serious thinking a while ago at school. [nyahaha]
and i guess, Life is just one long learning process.
one hell of a learning process, ne?
i have not been myself lately. must be the rain (it's spasm-ing -_-) although i think it's way more than that. and then all the things that are happening. piling on top of each other madly. it's driving me insane! insane in a sense that i suddely find myself staring at nothing, oblivious to the world; even feeling hungry but then i get so sick and tired of the food at the canteen; buying my favorite sago't gulaman then throwing it away, just drinking half of it...
it happens to everyone, right?
gladly though, school has nothing to do with it. school's perfectly fine. my grades are ok, the lessons are easy, and (not being over-confident though, oh please stop me) i think, perhaps, that i can actually have an eagle.
then something happened which i clearly did not understand. it was like, i don't know, i was unconsiously fooled. in some way. yeah. you know the feeling when people joke at you and stuff, then you just go with their flow until suddenly it feels wrong and it eventually hurts you? !@#$%&. they should have been thankful i am not that kind of war freak, freaky enough to go straight in front of them and shout their asses off. but she's like, my bestfriend and i am not a bitch to just do that shit. gladly my other friends were able to cool me down and i just forgot everything and smiled at her again. sad though, i can't say the same for the other person. ahh fuck life.
aling clara died. announced today at school. i wasn't as shocked as when i heard that she got a heart attack because i was kinda expecting it to already come. just like what danielle has said in her blog, i thought Aling Clara would always be there in the GS gates, shouting at HS people who try to enter, sweeping the floors every dismissal time, and bringing our forgotten things to class when we were in GS. she has not really made that much of an impact in my life because i was kinda afraid of her that's why i would always try to do the right things, so she never really shouted at me and stuff... but hey, she was there from the moment i stepped in the GS building.
prayers to aling Clara, may God rest her soul.
[uhh, did that sound freaky?]
so yeah. life is just one big learning process.
made no sense with the things i've typed but i guess it could do.
MAJOR THANKS to my friends, who are always bugging my ass off.
:]
